(23:11:52) drboskonifuzz: so I spent a good five minutes pointing out the inconsistency in his position, but he goes ahead and does it anyway
(23:17:47) MightyBobX: boy, i bet he felt bad after that. i bet he said "OH MAN, THIS GUILT IS KILLING ME"
(23:17:53) MightyBobX: then you said "haha, you must be richard!"
(23:18:02) drboskonifuzz: hehe
(23:20:04) MightyBobX: hehe, i wonder if goodkind realized how opposite his book is of atlas. the whole point of atlas was that the realizations and lifelessons the characters learned were necessarily tied to reality and they really had to grow into learning the consequences of their actions (much like the SOT characters in the first five). so when you have some retardedly and excessively immoral people like the banished who are over-the-top immoral to start with who become instantly perfect after one good speech, it just makes the philosophy seem less grounded in reality
(23:20:48) MightyBobX: hehe, and like when owen kills the guy who stole his gf a long time ago, she's like "i'm so glad you taught him to deserve me"
(23:21:03) MightyBobX: so, was she getting philosophy lessons while being raped over and over for a year?
(23:21:36) MightyBobX: hehe, and all the people showing up to rescue zed was pretty contrived
(23:21:52) drboskonifuzz: the order teaches their slaves proper philosophy to make their rape that much worse
(23:21:55) MightyBobX: hehe
(23:22:24) MightyBobX: and slides don't really seem that great if you can just, you know, shank them
(23:22:36) MightyBobX: "OH SHIT, HE'S A GOAT"
(23:22:39) MightyBobX: "WHAT DO WE DO"
(23:22:45) drboskonifuzz: he totally should have punched the goat
(23:22:49) MightyBobX: hehe
(23:23:09) MightyBobX: i was actually expecting him to cut the goat in half right after going "THE REAL, REALLY REAL, REAL PLAN IS TO DO X, RIGHT GUYS?"
(23:23:20) drboskonifuzz: hehe
(23:23:38) MightyBobX: "2 HOURS BEFORE SUNRISE. 2 HOURS. THAT'S WHEN OUR DEEPEST SECRETS WILL BE REVEALED, AND ANYONE LISTENING SHOULD BE HERE, LISTENING, THEN."
(23:23:48) MightyBobX: "GOT THAT, BETTY?"
(23:23:53) drboskonifuzz: man, you shouldn't keep reading the series
(23:25:05) MightyBobX: "OH MAN, LOOKS LIKE THE POISON WAS JUST MY LINGERING PHILOSOPHICAL CONTRADICTION RELATING TO, I DON'T KNOW, APPEALING TO AUTHORITY? YOU KONW, IT POISONS THE MIND OR SOMETHING"
(23:25:38) MightyBobX: "OH SHIT... IT'S THE NINTH RULE! IT SAYS "RICHARD, SHOOT YOUR FUCKING LIGHTNING" "
(23:25:48) MightyBobX: "YOU SEEM TO HAVE IT PRETTY RELIABLY"
(23:26:32) MightyBobX: hehe, i liked when h e was counting off how many rules he'd violated
(23:26:42) drboskonifuzz: hehe, all the wizards rule should be in caps
(23:26:49) MightyBobX: they ar ein my mind
(23:26:51) drboskonifuzz: just to stress how pertinent they are
(23:27:01) MightyBobX: "TENTH RULE: FUCKIN FUCK THE FUCKIN FUCKERS"
(23:27:12) MightyBobX: but it'd be in high dharan
(23:27:16) drboskonifuzz: hehe
(23:27:27) MightyBobX: so it'd be like "VOLGO ARANG FUCKIN FUCKERS"
(23:27:36) drboskonifuzz: I am dehr fuckuer de fuckuers
(23:27:53) drboskonifuzz: So Richard would be the Fucker of Fuckers
(23:27:56) drboskonifuzz: which would have three meanings
(23:28:01) MightyBobX: HEHE
(23:28:16) MightyBobX: i wonder who defends him against these fuckers; you know, his fucks against fucks
(23:28:30) drboskonifuzz: his lesbian guards?
(23:28:57) MightyBobX: "dude, not only did resolving this guilt issue fix my gift, now that i really like killing people, i can fly"
(23:29:06) drboskonifuzz: hehe
(23:29:11) drboskonifuzz: I mean, it makes sense
(23:29:27) drboskonifuzz: his power is supposed to increase with his desire to kill his enemies
(23:29:30) MightyBobX: "hey! when i <munch> eat the people i kill, i get dragon wings!"
(23:29:59) drboskonifuzz: "ELEVENTH RULE: POTATOES! BOIL 'EM, MASH 'EM, STICK 'EM IN A STEW!"
(23:30:02) MightyBobX: hehe
(23:30:24) drboskonifuzz: man, htere totally should've been a rule that has absolutely nothing to do with what was going on
(23:30:56) MightyBobX: "TWELFTH RULE: SERIOUSLY DON'T BUILD A BRIDGE WHERE THE RIVER FORKS, BECAUSE SEDIMENTARY BUILDUP CAN CAUSE FOUNDATIONAL PROBLEMS"
(23:31:03) drboskonifuzz: hehe
(23:31:54) MightyBobX: richard: "well shit... i was hoping for a rule i could make a big speech about as i'm being killed by 12 different diseases, 4 curses, a dragon, and being shot at by 9 assassins"
(23:32:07) drboskonifuzz: and tortured
(23:32:10) drboskonifuzz: don't forget about that
(23:32:12) MightyBobX: dude
(23:32:13) drboskonifuzz: it's important
(23:32:14) MightyBobX: his life is torment
(23:32:17) drboskonifuzz: hehe
(23:32:23) MightyBobX: like, torment from the outside
(23:32:33) drboskonifuzz: so, are you going to finish the series?
(23:32:36) MightyBobX: yeah
(23:32:44) MightyBobX: i have the next two
(23:32:46) MightyBobX: just need confessor
(23:32:52) drboskonifuzz: man, you have no idea how much I want to spoil it right now
(23:32:57) drboskonifuzz: anyway, I bought the chainfire series
(23:33:05) drboskonifuzz: so I can just bring it back during spring break
(23:33:05) MightyBobX: it better involve machine guns
(23:33:08) MightyBobX: because it soundsl ike it
(23:33:33) drboskonifuzz: hehe
(23:33:54) drboskonifuzz: "TWELFTH RULE: (THE RECIPE FOR GUNPOWDER)"
(23:33:56) MightyBobX: <richard translates high dharan off a mythical obelisk he's discovered> "13TH RULE: RICHARD, BEHIND YOU" "what the?! <captured and tortured>"
(23:34:12) drboskonifuzz: hehe, so the thirteenth rule was just written to screw with him?
(23:34:43) MightyBobX: richard: "how did you know to find me there" "we read it in this book called 'oh man, richard you are FUCKED'. i thoght to myself, 'jagang, you seriously should read this one"
(23:34:51) drboskonifuzz: hehe
(23:35:20) MightyBobX: richard: "seriously man... do you ever use your poewr to... you know... be a chick? and bang some dude?"
(23:35:27) MightyBobX: "so gay"
(23:36:12) drboskonifuzz: hehe
(23:36:21) MightyBobX: "look who's talking... you spend years enduring a seemingly endless amoutn of torture and pain so you can get back to your girl, but then you fucking cuddle for 3 days and then get captured again before you can bang her."
(23:36:23) drboskonifuzz: "I'm gonna see what my sisters are up to...OH FUCK, THAT GUY IS SICK"
(23:36:58) MightyBobX: hehe, i liked how zed was on the verge of insanity and death from torture and abuse, but as soon as his contrived rescue parties arive, he's like "exit staaage leeeeft"
(23:37:21) drboskonifuzz: he compartmentalized his mind
(23:37:27) drboskonifuzz: setting the Pink Panther portion safe
(23:37:40) MightyBobX: haha, and that sister getting cut in half by the flying stage coach wagon was a total metalocalypse moment
(23:37:50) drboskonifuzz: hehe
(23:37:57) drboskonifuzz: you can just see her looking up in the air
(23:38:09) drboskonifuzz: "(shictck) (surprised look)"
(23:38:11) MightyBobX: cutting back and forth between the wheel and her face
(23:39:03) drboskonifuzz: Zed: "Oh Richard, I forgot to mention the Wizard's Axiom: (if you do this thing) you won't get continually captured and tortured"
(23:39:15) drboskonifuzz: Richard: "MOTHER OF GOD WHY DIDN'T YOU MENTION THAT EARLIER?"
(23:39:38) MightyBobX: "15th rule: I BET YOU WISH YOU'D ASKED ABOUT THAT AXIOM, EH RICHARD?" "WHY DO THEY ALWAYS ADDRESS ME"
(23:39:57) MightyBobX: "THIS ONE WAS WRITTEN ON THE BOTTOM OF A LAKE MADE OF FIRE"
(23:40:04) MightyBobX: "WHO PUT THIS HERE"
(23:41:05) MightyBobX: "OH SWEET JESUS; YOU MEEN THE ENTIRE MIDLANDS IS ACTUALLY A GIANT STATUE OF MY FACE WHEN VIEWED FROM SPACE? AND THERE'S HIGH DHARAN WRITTEN UNDER IT? AND IT SAYS "18TH: GOT YOU GOOD YOU FUCKER"?!"
(23:41:18) drboskonifuzz: haha
(23:41:31) drboskonifuzz: pretty much, all of creation was just one big joke on Richard
(23:41:35) MightyBobX: haha
(23:41:53) MightyBobX: creator: "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR MAKING FUN OF ME THE WHOLE SERIES"
(23:42:01) drboskonifuzz: haha, oh man
(23:42:13) drboskonifuzz: way better: the entire series just leads up to a surprise party for Richard
(23:42:17) MightyBobX: hehe
(23:42:26) drboskonifuzz: Jagang: "You didn't see it coming, did you!"
(23:42:32) MightyBobX: "all this... fo ra praty... like 10 years later?" "prophecy!"
(23:42:53) MightyBobX: hehe. jagang: "you didn't see this coming, did you?" nathan: "i did!"
(23:42:53) drboskonifuzz: dude, this party has been in preparation for thousands of years
(23:43:02) drboskonifuzz: you have to take into account all the prophecy written about Richard
(23:43:09) MightyBobX: hehe
(23:43:09) drboskonifuzz: written specifically to keep him in the dark about hte party
(23:43:32) MightyBobX: "why all the murders!" "well, if you wren't otherwise occupied, you m ight have, you know, heard"
(23:43:53) MightyBobX: " YOU MADE ME DESTROY ALL MAGIC" "yeah, but YOU DIDN'T SEE IT COMING"
(23:43:55) drboskonifuzz: "A lot of hte people were killed were going to spoil the surprise"
(23:44:19) MightyBobX: "nathan released that crazy whore just to kill this one jerk who got me drunk and was gonna tell you about the stuff i confessed to him"
<later>
09:19:02) drboskonifuzz: Jagang: "All right, I'll call off the war if you make me a delicious dinner. (later) What! You can't have stew without biscuits!"
Richard: "Dear spirits...the Wizard's Fourteenth rule! Zedd knew it all along!"
<later>
(22:04:17) drboskonifuzz: also, what Richard really needs is a Wizard's Rule against Wizard's Rules
(22:04:39) MightyBobX: hehe
(22:05:16) MightyBobX: i think the "X against X" characters need to be entities, not abstract information
(22:05:39) drboskonifuzz: but that abstract information regularly fucks him over!
(22:06:02) MightyBobX: only because he was too stupid to violate these common sense rules in the first place
(22:06:23) MightyBobX: what he really needs, therefore, is a richard against richards
(22:06:27) MightyBobX: to keep him from fucking himself
(22:07:49) drboskonifuzz: would this Bizarro Richard have a goatee and be way cooler than Richard?
<later>
(22:03:19) MightyBobX: "27th rule: think of the solution, not the- oh wait, we already did this one, didn't we? uh... brush your teeth?"
(22:04:38) drboskonifuzz: "28th Rule: All Wizard's rules are to be kept exactly as they were originally enspokened."
(22:05:38) MightyBobX: "29th rule: OH SHIIIT, GRIIISOM COMES FOR YOU
(22:05:41) MightyBobX: RICHARD"
(22:06:24) drboskonifuzz: hehe
(22:16:47) drboskonifuzz: "30th rule: There are no rules!"
<later>
(16:39:03) MightyBobX: you sound lik esomeone's getting the best of you
(16:39:29) drboskonifuzz: about that...I have a confession to make
(16:39:45) MightyBobX: <uses confessor power on you>
(16:39:50) MightyBobX: <spends 3 pages building up to it>
(16:40:08) drboskonifuzz: hehe
(16:40:20) drboskonifuzz: one of the times she does that, some guy should just be like "what the!" and punch her
(16:40:24) MightyBobX: hehe
(16:40:26) drboskonifuzz: "Time is yours my ass!"
(16:40:26) MightyBobX: he can't
(16:40:28) MightyBobX: TIME IS HERS
(16:40:48) MightyBobX: i'm also wondering why she's never gotten her invincolightning poewrs again
(16:41:01) MightyBobX: there have been a couple times just as bad as that first time
(16:41:03) drboskonifuzz: hey, when's the last time you went into a blood rage?
(16:41:42) MightyBobX: well, i was kinda pissed when i dropped my apples at the store
(16:42:25) drboskonifuzz: (Kahlan stubs her toe)
Richard: Dear god no!
Kahlan: Aaaaaa! Everybody dies!
<later>
(10:46:18) drboskonifuzz: so I'm thinking that it's probably a good thing that Richard doesn't really know how to use subtractive magic
(10:46:34) drboskonifuzz: there'd be all these holes in walls from when he didn't feel like using doors
(10:47:01) MightyBobX: hehe
(10:47:37) drboskonifuzz: plus, he'd constantly be tripping people by making small segments of the floor disappear
(10:48:19) MightyBobX: it seems you're implying that, in the last book, he's gone from long-winded philosophical speeches about individualism to petty harassment
(10:49:19) drboskonifuzz: it's the only logical conclusion, Chad
