MightyBobX Quotage

Man, The Strokes and The Killers are locked in a death struggle for favorite band. "Killers - Midnight Show" best captures sheer passion and drama, with "Strokes - Reptilia" a little behind, "Trying your luck" a little farther, and killers finishing up with "Jenny was a friend of mine" and "Andy, you're a star". Strokes, however, win out the "got my girl and she's fine" category, with "12:51", while Killers' best contender is "On Top". Killers definitely win "Damn you're hot" with "Who let you go" and, to a lesser extent, "Everything will be alright", which Strokes don't even really to have a contender for. "Everything..." is the smoothest song killers have, but it alone can't compare to the consistent and overall smoothness of strokes in general, which is why strokes are still Smoothest Band Ever. I think Killers are competing so strongly because they're more emotional, but still have a high smoothness rating.
So... yeah...

Hehe, funniest thing since Fuck Club: this election, vote for the Fight Club Party!

-"You are not your candidate. You are not your representative or your senators. You are not your state legislature. You are the all-singing, all-dancing electorate of the universe."
-"Our president is our model for God. If our president could not balance the budget, what does that say about God?"
-"Now...think about it. Why would anyone confuse me with you?" "Because..." "You got it." "...because we have the same foreign policy."
-"Do you guys think campaigning is funny?" "The first rule of Project Durden 2004 is you don't ask questions, sir."
-"On a large enough polling base, everyone's approval rating drops to zero."
-"C'mon Lou...I really like this race."
-"All potential candidates must wait outside our headquarters without food, water, or encouragement for three days. They must have one black shirt, one pair black pants, one pair black socks, and 2.3 million dollars personal campaigning money."
-"It was on the tips of everyone's tongues; Tyler and I just gave it a party label."
-"Who said you congressmen could use this place?" "We have a deal worked out with the vice president" "The vice president's in the white house with a disgruntled foreign diplomat; he don't own this place, i do"

All of these are courtesy of fuzzy, except the last one.

Hehe, yay! I didn't realize all you had to do to get published in the daily bruin was write an email. Hehe, i'd have been a bit more precise and tad less sarcastic had i known.
http://www.dailybruin.ucla.edu/news/articles.asp?id=30511
I know this is just online, but it's in the real paper, too (I checked!).

Several weeks ago i started wanting a lot more eggs. a week ago i started wanting more milk, and now i want more meat. i think my body wants more protein...

sigh
http://www.dailybruin.ucla.edu/news/articles.asp?id=30504

My official song for the end of my relationship is "The Killers - Smile Like You Mean It". Give it a listen.
I took Michelle to LAX and am picking her up Monday morning, so i have her car all weekend! And wesley's gone, so i have the apartment all weekend! I have both components necessary to make out with all the chicks who are always calling to get laid by me...

*guessing at the meaning of the acronym SPEAR*
MightyBobX: sexually polarized egalitarians for artistic revival?
DvsGrimReaper713: more like... spontaneously piano exploding ankle racists
MightyBobX: more like... serendipitous and pneumatized enemies of arbitrary rectums
MightyBobX: hehe. "i can't objectively prove this rectum; i can only declare that i believe it to be so"

The problem with blogs is that everyone can read them. Hehe. Oh well; if you don't want to read my innermost thoughts that may concern you in ways you didn't realize they did, then don't read. Nothing wrong with the truth, right? Right?

I don't know if these two facts are related, but I have simultaneously figured out how i feel about sara and what my plans are for michelle. When asked if i miss sara, the answer is no, i don't miss sara as she is now; i miss the way she was. when i think back to the great times, i realize that's not what it's like now. the questions is what changed. As far as i know, i haven't changed, which she confirmed; so clearly something on her part changed, though i still don't know what; one of these days we'll talk about it and try and figure it out. she still seems as rational and great as she did before; the only way i know something changed is that, well, she doesn't like me anymore. but that's an important thing to change, and implicilty reflects important changes somewhere in your value system, OR a value system a bit different than previously surmised, but that can sort of fall into the first category if we just look at observable values (since before they were, apparently, unobservable). so the point is that though i may think back to happy memories of sara, i don't imagine that if we got back together things would be all peachy again, barring some bizarre change of heart on her part (a thought i clinged to immediately after, but which quickly dissipated during the ensuing weeks).
As to michelle, i had to do a bit of thinking on the point of relationships. after discussing with alden and sara, i decided that my previous notion was correct: the point of a romantic relationship is to express the feelings you already have for someone, not to discover the potential for such feelings. once you're comfortable being romantic with someone, it's certainly possibly (and probable) you will learn more about them, and for your level of affection to wax or wan; but the point is that romance isn't needed (and, dare i say, even proper) for that particular goal. knowing this, i can say i don't yet sufficiently have the hots for michelle (internally, where the organs are) to feel like i want to be a couple, so i'll stick with the hanging-out-and-getting-to-know-her-more plan. Now, if she were to tell me that she really dug me and wanted to date it all up in it there, i think i'd agree; this doesn't contradict my stance, because, just like a lack of affection indicates a value difference, the presence of such affection indicates value affirmation, even if i didn't notice it w/o her saying she liked me. So i guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Well, it did end up raining sunday, but because it had been raining all night, they cancelled my games so i didn't have to ride out there on my bike in the rain. I ended up going to the loyola marymont vs santa clara soccer game to watch duncan ref and hang out with the ref crew before/halftime/after the game, which was cool. And i got into the game free, cuz i was on the list. I thought the school was kinda cool. Small campus, with a road that enters up through the bottom of the squarish campus, goes in a big circle at the far end of the square, and then brings you back the way you came. Dorms along the sides with fields/walkways winding around, nice looking buildings. The way harvey mudd looked, the way i wish ucla looked. But i guess that's the price you pay for having a massive campus. Shame the place was so christian.
Saw team america with michelle. Pretty freakin' sweet; it's like adult swim: the movie, only less tasteful profanity.
Hehe, had the first run of my "taco bell is great" plan today. You see, this homo-tastic group at ucla has been trying to get the campus taco bell banned because the taco bell corporation buys tomotoes in florida, where the poor little migrant workers only make so much money for their terrible fate of picking tomatoes. So this campus group has tried before to get them banned, and are now trying again. They have a table on bruin walk with a big sign saying "BOYCOTT TACO BELL; ASK US WHY?". So anyway, my plan: eat taco bell in front of their sign. Just stand there and eat lunch. Worked pretty well; the lady at the table after a few min of me being there came up and was like "would you like to hear about our campaign?" to which i replied "i already know about it; that's why i'm standing here". "oh; well, which side are you on?" "*holding burrito supreme* what do you think?". Afterwhich we began a courteous debate as to why we shouldn't/should ban taco bell. Her arguments were the most elementary and basic, so i argued circles around her without breaking a sweat. eventually she's like "oh, well, i had fun talking with you." and went back to her table, so i finished eating and hung out with sara and pat. even after i finished, i stood around more with my taco bell wrappers.

hehe, some movie called "kiki's delivery service" and i'm like "that's totally a porno", till i saw it was on the disney channel

Wow. Did my first game assigned to me by the SCSRA (previously i'd been reffing for AYSO or the Valley Ref Association), and it was at the home depot center (a big stadium with national team fields around it) a girls national 19 vs boys national 16 game, both of which are playing in the world cup in a few months. Not only were the players actually like adults in terms of skill and conduct, but the center referee was a league above anyone i'd reffed with in the VRA. I will definitely be reffing for them from now on.
The referee, duncan, was an interesting guy. Really vocal, really blunt. Spent a lot of time talking about his personal philosophy and his observations of my and Jonathan's (the other referee) personalities. And he was pretty good at it; he noticed Jonathan's (ie, a typical person's) lack of self-confidence, indecision, non-commital habits, and compared them to my focused attention and self-confidence. He was a killer ref, though, so i appreciated hearing him critique and just speak his mind on the situation (which he did to no end).
*hopes it doesn't rain tomorrow*

Hehe, i feel so bad. We have to use this program called Matlab to do our math 151 hw, and it costs like 100 dollars, so eveyrone uses the computers in the PIC lab. unfortunately, the school is retarded or something and they only have 11 (they say 11, but i think it's less than that) licenses right now, so the 60 or so people in these classes have to share. For instance, on wednesday i sat there for an hour doing algebra hw until i could finally get into matlab to do my 30 min of hw. anyway, i wrote my program, but forgot to write down the values it produced. so i went in this morning, but all the licenses were being used. same thing at noon. so when i went back after classes, they were still all being used, so i asked this girl if she could log off, let me use it, write down my values, then she could hop back on and all would be well. she closed hers and i immediately ran mine, all was well. but when i closed mine and she immediately ran hers, it said matlab usage was full. i asked everyone in the pic lab if anyone had just run matlab and gotten it to open, but no one fessed up. so that poor girl got the shaft and couldn't do her hw until someone else left. hehe, saah-weee.

Mmmm... The Strokes. Been listening to them a lot; i set my player to killers + strokes + interpol like two weeks ago, and haven't been able to change it; i love them too much. i've got more space than that, whichi've rotated a little, but those 3 have remained pretty constant. i just can't get enough of them. I'm also starting to relate to strokes songs more, partly just because i'm paying more attention to the lyrics, and secondly because certain life-events have broadened my perspective slightly.
Also, for those of you who care about music (ie, thayer, pat, jon), i'm considering splitting up my Panic and Vomit playlist into two different groups; previously, that list was just everything that you guys all like, plus a few bands that i thought were awesome enough to go with, even though you don't like them (killers and chili peppers are the only examples i can think of). Anyway, the new plan is 1) strokes + spoon + french kicks + interpol + killers + qotsa + white stripes = indie list (i don't think they're all exactly indie, but whatever) and 2) radiohead + coldplay + modest mouse + gorillaz + portishead + mr. bungle + calla = ...something else list. Feel free to offer comments.

Hehe, the first song on "Queens of the Stone Age: Songs for the Deaf" starts out with a guy getting in his car and turning on the radio, and proceeds as such:
Radio announcer: "K - L (oh) - O (en) - N Los Angeles (-ngeles), Klone radio! We play the songs that sound more like anyone else (than anyone else!) Klone (klone (klone))..."
DJ: Hey alright! It's Kip Kasper, Klone radio, LA's INFINITE repeat; how we feelin' out there? How's your drive-time commute? I need a saga; what's the saga! It's Songs for the Deaf! You can't even hear it!"
And then the QOTSA songs starts. Hehe, the way he says "you can't even hear it", like it's the most amazing thing ever.

Anyway, "participated" in a protest today. Apparently UCLA paid michael moore 25,000 to speak at the school. So the bruin republicans staged a little protest outside the area he was speaking at, complete with signs deriding moore and, to a lesser extent and indirectly, the school for paying him to speak. Michelle mentioned it, and i had nothing else to do for that hour, so i joined her. It was the first protest either of us had been to, and it was kinda fun, watching people spaz out at each other, usually for the wrong reasons. I'm not a fan of michael moore, mostly because he's an idiot, but that's insufficent grounds for protesting; the school spending good money for a clearly partisan cause, however, is less than comendable. So i held up a sign for a while and stood with michelle, sorta hiding amongst the noise that the more vocal protesters were making. We walked up and down the huge line waiting to enter the amphitheatre, then i ate some lunch and did hw until the speaking started; things died down after a while, and michelle and i left for the PIC lab and did some more hw.

Uf. Been thinking more about stuff, but I don't generally feel the need to rant about it here unless i have a lot of well-formulated thoughts to say. And since no one has taken too much of an interest in it, the process doesn't go too quickly. Hehe, i don't even know who reads this nonsense.

The overseas studio managing director of invader zim is named "Joo Suk Kim"

hehe, coldplay is a bunch of homos; inside of cd cover:
"politik: for countries to develop or even survive they need to be able to trade fairly. at the moment, poorer countries are strangled by ridiculous international trading laws and ruthless western businesses, keeping millions trapped in poverty and widening the gap between the rich and the poor"

Some high school teacher in oklahoma was having marital problems, so paid two of his students to fake-break into his house. The students broke in, tied up his wife, and then fought the teacher (who oh so conveniently arrived at just the right time). They choreographed the fight, even including a partly cut-through board the teacher broke over one of the students. All was going well, except the wife had escaped and called the police. The teacher is being charged with filing a false report. Hehe, it's just like on TV shows.
Also, apparently it's national coming out month, and the LGBT group on campus (that's Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender, for those of you out of the loop) made everyone aware of this by hanging a giant banner over bruinwalk. Amusingly, some vendors were selling posters right next to it, and there was a giant poster of the two girls from TATU making out placed next to the banner.

Without my music, I'd be dead. God, I love it.

[concerning a kylie minogue video]
MightyBobX: haha, goddamn those shorts
MightyBobX: how can clothes make someone look more naked?
AIRMCMONKY: scientists have been studying that phenomena for years
AIRMCMONKY: still no conclusion
AIRMCMONKY: but the work is gratifying
MightyBobX: somehow i don't think anyone with that job will ever find a conclusion

Sigh. Finally have internet, router, and cable running. Ooh, just got realplayer working, too, so I can finally watch my Darias. The router wesley provided wasn't working, so we tried the one i bought with the intention of returning, but then we couldn't get that one working, so now i've got his other one working. Though I don't know if i want to return the wireless networking card; we'll see how easy it will be to wire up the place.

Uf. Me and Sara. I dunno what this year will be like. Fall quarter of freshman year was me being the self-righteous loner: I figured friends were rare enough that i shouldn't even bother looking, that i'd stay in my room and "hang out" with my real friends online. At some point near the end of the quarter, I had an epiphany: "wtf?!?!" and began spending every weekend at home, actually with my friends. And all was well. Met sara at the end of spring quarter, we chatted it up over summer, and within one and a half weeks of school starting, I had myself the best girl i'd ever known. From then on, almost every single day i spent the majority of my free time with her; hanging out in her room, driving with her somehwere, hanging out in my room. When she wanted time to herself, I'd game or do homework or something, but nothing could shake the feeling of complete and utter self-confidence i had; i knew no matter what, i was not alone, and there was always someone there for me. nothing can faze someone who knows they're loved and knows the person they love is five minutes away. I can't emphasize enough that my scheduling consisted of "either be with sara, or be performing some neccessary task (hw, etc) that will allow more sara later"; i never felt lonely, never felt out of place.
So what do i do now? For sure, that unshakeable self-confidence is gone now. I'm still one arrogant bastard, but there's a hole, a crack in the foundation; as best as i can remember, this wasn't there before Sara, but it's certainly there now. There are times where i just stop and feel like "what have i done", like i've fucked up in a way that can never be fixed. It's like how things can bug me, or sadden me, or whatever, but no matter what, before i had this invincible core that said "fuck it, it doesn't matter". Now it's the reverse; I know what's true, i know i can deal with anything, that i have friends, that things will be ok; but when i get down deep, there's a twitch that says "nope, you're fucked, and there's nothing you can do about it."
The important question is how permanent it is. Having never experienced a breakup before, let alone one of this magnitude (i assume it's of high magnitude because i know that not everyone reacts the same way i did; i mean, i suppose i could be a wuss and whatever, but i'm just gonna be arrogant and assume i'm right; and yes, i know worse things have happened to people, but i'm gonna keep things relative to my experiences), i dunno if this goes away, or if losing your first love is a long term problem. I guess i'll find out.
I feel an intense need to make more friends; i feel like Pat, Michelle, and Sara won't be enough. I dunno when it started, but i've suddenly acquired a massive fear of spending too much time with someone, like i'll bug them and they won't tell me and then they'll break up with me... not that i'm insinuating the source of this fear (chuckle). It's made worse by the fact that I always seem to be the one calling people asking if they want to do something. We'll see how that pans out, and hopefully it will for the better, since rational and fun people are hard to find.
I plan to spend a lot of time with michelle (a plan weakened by my paranoia); I'm aware of the idea of the "rebound", and i sort of detect some possible inklings of something like that within me, but i'll leave that up to introspection, rather than going "i just ended a relationship and now i want to start a new one, it must be the rebound!!!". Sides, i don't wanna start a relationship with pat, so it's not like i'm just falling over everyone in sight; i wanna keep it down to casual-shower-taking-with-him. YOu know... instead of... formal shower taking.
The big blow to the ego stems from I still don't know what happened. Someone rationally can't "just stop" loving you. It doesn't make any sense. I made a mistake somewhere: either I made a massive misjudgement of Sara, or (in spite of her assurances) there is something about me she doesn't like, something important, and she hasn't figured out what it is. I thikn the former is unlikely; she could get emotional sometimes, but at her core i know she's rational.
I think i've figured out the nature of my depression, though, and why in spite of her virtues i'm hesitant to pursue michelle; nothing seems special. With sara, everything was special; every day was just waiting to see her, she shared my first kiss, she shared my first everything; sometimes when i think about it, i feel like all i can do now is just repeat and fail.
But of course that's the problem; i only sometimes feel like that. sometimes i feel fine; this contradiction in emotions isn't fun.

uf. that's all i gots for now. eat that, alden! i think mine was longer. then again, mine is longer than most guys'. tee hee.

Stick that in your for-loop and iterate it!

MightyBobX: Andrew WK, answering a letter: Dear Christian, I'm taking it hard and giving it harder. The hardness is only increasing, but the true difficulty of the situation is only in how you approach it.
TheDarkImpLord: if you say so
MightyBobX: that's what andrew said
TheDarkImpLord: i don't think you have total freedom in how you approach it. you do have a lot more than most people think they do, but you can't approach it from a happy place (most of the time)
MightyBobX: ...what?
TheDarkImpLord: it's very difficult to be happy about a breakup
MightyBobX: um
MightyBobX: i was just referring to... andrew wk talking about hardness
MightyBobX: you know... like an erection
MightyBobX: phallic humor
TheDarkImpLord: *shoots self*
MightyBobX: hehe, but i delight in your interpretation

For anyone not lucky enough to be present at time of impact, Sara broke up with me. I'll slap the first person who IMs me with anything containing teh word "sorry", unless it's akin to "i'm sorry... sorry you're so freakin ugly!"